The not so Original Thoughts of Tim

What If? March 26, 2012

Posted by Tim Custis in Healing, Personal Growth, Spirituality.
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I had a dream last night and in the dream, I was teaching my work. Before we start I asked, are there any questions? A student raised their hand and said how long will it take to learn this work? I said, interesting question and I will answer that in a second, but first let me ask you a question. What part of your being asked that question? Moreover, why is it asking that? Have you ever wondered how long it will take to learn something and then talk yourselves out of even starting, without even knowing the answer?

What if we did know the answer, would we do it if it took a month, a year, a lifetime? What is our motivation for starting to learn something? Is there a passion for your desire so that no matter how long it takes you will show up, you will do the work. On the other hand, is it, well if it takes that long I will just do something else? Do you find a way to talk yourself out of it? Who is doing that talking anyway? It surely is not that part of you that had the desire. Who is in charge?

If I meditate how long will it take me to reach enlightenment? If I date this person, will we fall in love and be married forever? If I go to the gym how long will it take me to lose this weight? Are these the questions of our soul or something else at work? Do these types of questions often stop us in our tracks before we even start?

What if we just start the journey without question and follow our guidance, our intuition, that deeper yearning of the soul. What if we just show up for life and do what is next. Just go on the date. Just go to the gym. Just meditate without expectation. What if we just follow our soul’s desire and see what happens. What if we let that little voice just take a rest? What if we use our fears and insecurities to create what we want instead of holding us back? What if?

January 16, 2012

Posted by Tim Custis in Healing, Personal Growth, Spirituality.
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“We can hear the truth or read the truth. However, this is not the same as divining the truth through inner exploration. Why? Because sensing the truth at this superficial level makes it vulnerable to our false beliefs and worldly conditioning. It will most likely become lost or forgotten and never lived in our daily lives. The outcome from this inner exploration will not only change you but the world as a whole.”

Never hide from yourself the way you really feel about someone or something. November 20, 2011

Posted by Tim Custis in Healing, Personal Growth, Spirituality.
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“Never hide from yourself the way you really feel about someone or something. Make it conscious to yourself and do not feel guilty about it. Just look at the way you really feel, while considering it an intelligent exercise in psychic health, which it is. Any temporary feeling of discomfort should be considered as normal to the exercise, for it is caused by the clash between the conscious real and the unconscious unreal. Be active with this exercise, remembering that we are punished by whatever we hide from ourselves.” -Vernon Howard

Question: How do I live this way in my daily life?

Answer: Oh yes, practical application, the fun stuff. I really do mean fun, if you change your perception and no longer think something is hard or difficult you will begin to find more ease in the process. For me seeing my personal and spiritual growth as fun changed my experience of it and that changed the outcome. This does not mean it won’t be challenging, but haven’t you ever done something fun that was challenging. You are bringing together the scattered pieces of a puzzle to complete the picture and reveal the real you.

OK there is a lot I could say here but let me get to it for the sake of space. These tools will help you to stop hiding from yourself the way you really feel about someone or something and begin to make it conscious to yourself.

I believe the foundation for all personal and spiritual growth begins with awareness, without awareness how can we change. With the seed of awareness, desire begins to grow, and then intention comes and finally out of intention comes manifestation. Remember I said this was the quick and dirty version OK maybe not that dirty.

How do we develop awareness? Well there are many ways of course to develop awareness. One would think that this is natural for us or that we are already aware, however years of social conditioning have trained us to shut this natural ability down or at least it has been minimized. Remember no matter how aware you think you are you can always develop a deeper awareness.

Again, for the sake of space I will only mention two. The first is what I call body scanning and the second is meditation. You will find two articles I wrote in 2006 explaining body scanning and some other thoughts that will help here: http://bit.ly/uxMrzr and http://bit.ly/gaVNdq. Body scanning is a form of meditation; however, it works with the mind and the body at the same time. There are many misconceptions about meditation these days and most people get frustrated when they first try it. This is a normal part of the process for many and it requires practice and the ability to stick with it. In addition, finding a form that works for you is very important. You do not have to sit is a seated pose, like lotus position with your legs crossed to meditate. I urge you to investigate the many options if developing your awareness is important to you.

Once you begin to work with one or both of these tools, you will begin to have more clarity and awareness of your thoughts, feelings and emotions. With any new tool, practice is required, there is no timeframe when a shift will occur it depends on your desire and willingness to change. With an unbending intention to succeed you cannot fail.

Pay attention to your thoughts and be aware of what you feel as things come up during the day. Pay attention to your body and recognize the messages it is sending you. If you feel anger for example, where do you feel this is your body? One of your greatest allies you have on this journey is your body. You only need to learn how to read the messages it sends. Moreover, remember the more you practice the more you remember to notice what you are thinking. Do not beat yourself up, when you forget let it go and start again. The three most important things you can do is practice, practice practice.

 

The Gift of Pain March 19, 2011

Posted by Tim Custis in Healing, Personal Growth, Spirituality.
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I have learned many things on this journey, but one of the most important is that pain is a gift. Whether physical or emotional it is a guide to healing and transformation. It will carry you back to the light, bring you peace and strengthen your connection to the creative energy we all come from, no matter your religious beliefs, atheist or agnostic, its gift comes to all when we open up to it and let go.

One thing I know for sure… March 9, 2011

Posted by Tim Custis in Healing, Personal Growth, Spirituality.
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…and have personal experience with is that in every life experience, particularly the ones where we struggle the most, is our greatest opportunity for growth and change. It is our greatest opportunity to reconnect and strengthen our spiritual connection.

We can influence the outcome of these experiences by developing our awareness, changing our attitude, perception, intention and taking action during these shifts in consciousness. The outcome is not always what we expect, however, it is just what we need to experience to effect the greatest change for our highest good. If we change our perception about the experience, importance of outcome is no longer influenced by the ego, but now comes from the heart, directly from spirit.

If we change our perception about the experience then the experience we have changes. Allowing us to receive the true healing and learning from the experience. Once you have made this shift, how you see your life and the world is forever changed.

The question was asked of me is life meant to be a struggle? January 10, 2011

Posted by Tim Custis in Healing, Personal Growth, Spirituality.
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Royce first you need to look at where struggle comes from; it is a perception about something that is happening that we do not like. We begin to resist and when we resist something, it persists and intensifies therefore we create struggle.

Once we change our perception about the situation the struggle falls away and we often have a light bulb moment. Everyone has experienced this in relationship break-ups, lost jobs or other life events. The key is to begin to see the situation for what it is as its happening and not resist the NOW.

I believe an enlightened state is the ability to do this in the moment with every situation. As R David said, this can happen even when things are going well. So once you have the clarity that you are struggling ask yourself how can I see the truth in this situation. Pray/ask for a change of perception to see that truth.

Once you change your perception the struggle will release. Moreover, realize this is a process and it does not happen overnight for most people. However, it will happen at the perfect pace for you because everything is in perfect order, ALWAYS. OK, I admit it is not always easy to see, but that is a perception too.

You already know how to do this, you just need to remember it in every situation that arises where struggle could arise. Change your perception and change your experience. Change your experience and change the outcome. Change the outcome and life becomes the river that you flow with instead of an upstream struggle.

Be FREE just BE September 29, 2010

Posted by Tim Custis in Healing, Personal Growth, Spirituality.
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For so many years, I would hear people say “JUST BE”, live in the now and I was like, what the heck are they talking about, just be?! I am here, aren’t I? Isn’t that just being? It has taken me years of healing to reach a place where I can understand what they meant and still even more work to practice it in my life. After all I am a work in progress.

It is one thing to have a belief about what it is to “just be” and it is something completely different to know it, to embody it, to live it. Or should I say to experience it and realize what we just experienced. We have all had moments or seconds when all our thoughts ceased. It is like someone reached up and turned the light switch off. However, we do not always recognize this moment of presence or just being, because we are pulled back into our thoughts again.

The reason this came up for me are actually several reasons, but the initial trigger happened during the week before posting my last article Our Key Purpose in Life. In fact, I almost scrapped the whole article. Let me explain.

I started the article back in August.  Usually when I write an article, it takes just an hour or two on a good day, sometimes a little longer. However, this time I was struggling and it required several rewrites. With everything that was going on in my life, it stretched out to more than two weeks before I posted it on September 17.

On Monday September 13, I got a call from my mother’s hospice nurse saying that she was declining but there was no urgency at the time. I knew that my sister was arriving to see her from Indiana the next day and I had a flight scheduled to go down a week later to see them both.

My sister saw her on Wednesday and said she was very conscious and aware. I decided not to go down immediately but to take it day by day. I felt I needed to work because I had a substantial payment coming in on Friday. I thought if she got worse, I could get a quick flight since she was only an hour away. Therefore, I could go early if I needed to, otherwise I would fly down on Monday as scheduled.

The reason I wanted to work was that I had not worked much this year dealing with my father’s illness starting December 2009 and subsequent death in January, and having surgery on my knee February 1^st. The surgery did not allow me to work at all since a lot of my work is done on the floor on my knees. As it turns out, I would not have been able to work anyway because my mom fell and fractured her skull in March so I had to fly back down to Mission Viejo.

During her hospital stay, the doctors found out she had Parkinson’s, dementia and lung cancer, so she could no longer live by herself. I had approximately four hours to find her a place to stay because she was refusing additional tests and help from the doctors, and they needed to move her out to free up the bed.

Fortunately, without too much trouble, I did find a nice residential care home for her thanks to a wonderful hospice coordinator. However, mom needed additional income to pay for this care. This required selling my parents house and taking over all the finances. Even with my sister and brother-in-law’s help, it took a lot of time, and I had no income. OK back to the week of September 13.

That Wednesday evening I was listening to a recording of a live talk from the day before by Leonard Jacobson. He is the author of “Journey into Now” which I bought earlier this summer and still have not read. But I liked his talks and was interested in the book. Two similar teachings about being present that I have read are “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” by Echkart Tolle

Now I am writing an article on our key purpose, which I perceived to be healing. During Leonard’s talk I had a realization that presence was really our purpose which is why I thought about scrapping the article. Then my mom passed away some time during the night of the 16^th. I had just received the article back from my editor earlier that night and I just wanted to get it done and posted which is what I did. This is definitely not something I would do now, especially after what I have learned and experienced being present.

Now the article is posted and I receive a comment from a reader that read: “There is no past or future there is only NOW, the PRESENT MOMENT. Your purpose in life is to do whatever you are doing IN THE PRESENT MOMENT IN A MINDFUL MANNER. Giving your full attention to whatever you are doing NOW is your purpose. Now your LIFE’S PURPOSE is what makes everyone seek like a lost soul to find meaning in their lives. If one has no LIFE PURPOSE one can panic. If you live one moment at a time there is no need to panic. I suppose that if we do what we LOVE to do and make that our job we can be happy, but that doesn’t always provide an income. Suppose we just GO WITH THE FLOW and see where life takes us? IN the end I think serving others is the greatest life purpose, we just need to support ourselves on it, or not worry about material possessions.”

Here I was being hit once again with the idea that presence was our key purpose and I actually commented back that I agreed. Here is my reply: “I couldn’t agree more! Even though I did not mention the now or present moment in this article, my intention was to begin to give someone the beginning tools and insights to live in the now. For many, understanding the concept of living in the now is very foreign and hard to understand. They often feel they are giving something up when in truth they are gaining so much more. “

After making this comment, I went into meditation and it was during this time that it became clear that presence is our natural state, not a purpose. That we really do not have to do anything at all to be in this state: we really do just “have to be.” The challenge arrives when we get into our thoughts and try to rationally figure things out. It cannot be experienced through thought or the analytical mind. When you are truly present with someone or something, you are not thinking at all. As I said before, this is something we have all experienced although we may not have recognized it when it occurred because our thoughts started up again without notice or awareness.

Now whether you agree with me or not does not really matter. I want you to always question what is said, and I want you to question your own thoughts in the same way. If we are not actually using our thoughts for a particular purpose, then they are using us to project back into the past or forward into the future. That takes us out of the present moment. You cannot BE in the present moment unless your mind is still.

This does not mean that we stop thinking forever. It means that we have to learn– or should I say remember– how to quiet the mind when it is not in use. Just like turning off a light switch at night before going to bed. Knowing how to turn the thinking on and off is the only way to JUST BE. Really, THINK about it, how often do you actually need to use your mind? Do you need to use it when you are washing the dishes or brushing your teeth?

Think of all the times when it is chattering incessantly at you for no apparent reason at all. Moreover, what is it saying, how wonderful you are? Probably not, it is probably saying something about how you are not good enough or some other untrue thought.  On the other hand, maybe it is talking about a comment someone made to you weeks ago or years ago. What purpose does it serve to continue to think something like that repeatedly?

So what’s next, how do you start on this journey? The answer is that you have already started whether you admit it or not, but I will be writing more about this in the future. In the meantime, you can read the last article Our Key Purpose in Life, which offers a few tips. Begin practicing meditation or learning about meditation; there are many kinds. Read the books I mentioned above and more importantly, know that you already know how to do this, just take a second or two and quiet/stop your thoughts. Then begin to notice just how much time your mind is chattering away for no reason and watch what it is saying. Do you really want these kinds of thoughts said to you repeatedly? Then stop it and just be for as long as you can and when another thought comes in quiet the mind again. It will be through this continued practice that just being will become automatic and natural again.

Edited by Elaine Baskin

Our Key Purpose in Life September 17, 2010

Posted by Tim Custis in Healing, Personal Growth, Spirituality.
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I often find when people talk about their purpose in life it has more to do with something outside of them like a job or finding the right relationship. They feel lost, wandering around looking for something to fulfill them, wondering what they are supposed to do in this life. They feel that if they just find that one job or that perfect person then their life will have meaning and they will finally be happy.

“The answer lies within ourselves. If we can’t find peace and happiness there, it’s not going to come from the outside.” -Tenzin Palmo

Happiness never comes from anything outside you. Although it is true that you can experience a short lived emotional high, lasting happiness will never be found in this way. Most of us have experienced this in the newfound high of a relationship, only to be plummeted to the ground when it ends sometime later. The first and most important relationship we must develop is the one with ourselves through using this key purpose.

It is correct that purpose can relate to many different areas of our life. However, a while ago it became very clear to me that we have one key purpose. This key purpose is the foundation for all other purposes that we may have in our lifetime. Without this purpose being pursued, we will never fully connect with our truest self and strengthen our spiritual connection. Even partially satisfying this purpose brings greater joy, and you will have that much more to offer others on your journey. The next time you get into a relationship or pursue one of your other purposes in life, you will do it from a higher place, with greater opportunity for success, more passion and joy.

What is this key purpose?

We must work to heal ourselves.

How do we do this?

We heal ourselves by exploring and questioning our thoughts and beliefs.  We have to pay attention to what our minds are thinking at any given moment. We must begin to cultivate quiet in the mind through meditation and/or prayer.

Why is this important?

Because our very happiness depends on healing ourselves.  Our happiness comes out of our thoughts and beliefs.  We cannot heal on a spiritual and human emotional level without this process of exploring, questioning, and paying attention to our thoughts and beliefs.  This ongoing process requires uncovering, discovering and discarding those thoughts and beliefs that no longer support our highest good or that of our fellow human beings. For some of us, this is a lifetime process of paying attention to our thoughts and shifting them when we realize they are no longer true or they do not support our continued evolution. In addition, we must learn to quiet the mind or thought process when it is not needed, which allows us to maintain peace. The thought process is useful when needed and utilized, however it becomes a burden during times of non-use with its persistent and often unsupportive chatter.

Freeing ourselves from fear and upgrading the thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve our greater good allows us to help others more profoundly, be happier and to live and love more deeply. Otherwise, there will always be something in the way of deeply connecting with others and truly being able to love unconditionally.

Of course, we have free will and we can choose to ignore our guidance and intuition in these situations. We can choose to ignore our silent suffering.

Why do we ignore our guidance and intuition?

It is simple: we are afraid.

When we hesitate or ignore the proper actions, we can feel the fear in our body and we know that we are turning away from higher guidance, intuition or right action. Recognizing this is the perfect opportunity to change by using our fears in the service of healing instead of allowing them to hold us back.

How do we know it is fear?

Watch your thoughts and beliefs, and note how often fearful thoughts come up.  Use your senses to feel what is happening in your body.  When you feel nervousness, headache, stomachache or tension, for example, those are indicators of fear.

What happens when we choose to ignore these experiences or messages?

The creative force in the universe which we call by many names like God, Higher Power, Christ, Allah, Buddha or any other label you choose to use always finds a way to keep this process moving. Oh yes, you can be agnostic or atheist too, it does not matter because it happens to all of us whatever our beliefs. If we are not voluntarily working on it ourselves and paying attention, the experience becomes a lot bumpier and certainly more painful than when we are consciously and actively participating in our own healing process.

The scriptures of all religions assure us that we are made in the image of God. Underneath whatever bad things we have done or whatever problems we have now is that perfection. This means we are good at the core of our being. This is where spirit resides and nothing can change that, ever! All we have to do is to uncover it again. We do not have to create it or be worthy of it, it already exists. Evil does not reside there and cannot, because at this level of perfection there is only pure light, the highest of vibrations. In addition, where there is light, darkness cannot reside. This is not something only for certain people or those who practice a particular religion or who have specific beliefs; it is for everyone, including you.

Every human being is born with frailties and will face challenges in life; no one escapes this. These challenges are placed before us for a reason, and that reason is to heal, to let go of what is not working for us. You do not have to die to go to heaven but you do have to let go of the hell that resides within you if you expect to find peace now. Look at the very things that you are most afraid of and see what lies beneath. The fears we have are expressed through our thoughts and beliefs and this is what keeps us from pursuing our key purpose. Many of these fears are likely based on old, outdated childhood programming, but that is another article.  If we are too afraid to address these fears then we will continue to struggle.

“Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.” -Brendan Francis

The process for fulfilling our key purpose requires action, being open and honest with ourselves on a very deep level and being willing to face our fears head-on. Action is the only thing that conquers fear and the only way to move through it. Everything that challenges us in life is an opportunity to work at this deep level especially when things seem bad or at their worst. These times are divine gifts, they are a time when we have the greatest opportunity to grow and change.  Just ask anyone who has come out the other side of tragedy, struggle, addiction, illness or any other life challenge.

Changing your perception about what is going on inside yourself will change the experience and outcome. When you begin to see your difficulties as opportunities to change and grow, your suffering will be diminished and sometimes disappear immediately. You will move through these challenges easier and faster. Begin to work on your key purpose today by looking at the world through a fresh pair of eyes. See your problems as an opportunity and then turn a difficult or challenging situation into a healing experience.

For example, when you are in the midst of a difficult time, stop and ask yourself what is the opportunity here or what can I learn about MYSELF from this experience.  Remember this is about YOU and not about something or someone outside you. Be honest with yourself and know that there is always an opportunity or learning from every experience.

Ask yourself, what do I fear?  Is there an even deeper fear? Sit with your fears, without judging them.  Give things time to unfold. When they diminish, then search again for the opportunity this problem brings.  Remember to act on that opportunity. If nothing comes, that is OK too. What can you learn about yourself when nothing comes? How do your thoughts treat you? What is your next action? Keep moving! The most important thoughts and beliefs are the ones that hold us back, namely OUR FEARS.

This approach will not only change your life but it will begin to ripple out into the world, making you an integral part of healing the planet and easing the suffering of others. It will take the combined effort of many to change the world by working on their key purpose. The next million-man march will not bring peace to the world. We must reside with inner peace in order to live in a world that lives in peace.

One more tip. When your thoughts get out of control, use a mantram or mantra. For simplicity, consider a mantra a commonly repeated word or phrase. Repeat this word or phrase over and over again quietly to yourself. You can do this anywhere, at any time. Some commonly used words would be names that refer to God in any religion or the syllable OM, which some say is the sound of the universe or represents both the unmanifest and manifest aspects of God. If you do not want to use a religious term, try your child’s name or anything that brings you peace and calm. You can do a search if you want to find out more about mantras. This is a way to begin bringing quiet to the mind and let go of the chatter.

Finally remember, we are souls incarnate first and human beings second. The challenges we face in life are not about punishment. You can use them as opportunities to heal if you choose, taking the path of least resistance and finding deep spiritual, emotional and even physical healing. This leads to true unconditional love and love for self. As Vernon Howard said, “What is love? Love is first a state of being and then an outer-action. Love is first of all what you inwardly are, and secondly, what you do. It must come in this order; otherwise it is not-love but something masquerading as love.”

Edited by Elaine Baskin