Short and Sweet #132 – Loneliness

The big question is not whether we will feel lonely but when we will feel lonely. Loneliness is a common experience for many people. Unfortunately, it has a bad rap and is usually looked at as negative and something to be avoided. It is assumed that you should never feel lonely and if you do, something is wrong with you or your life. Is this true? I do not believe it is and to think that your life will be perfect or happy all the time only leads to greater suffering when you perceive that it is not.

Although loneliness may not be comfortable to feel, it is not the loneliness that is uncomfortable, but the resistance to the loneliness that causes us to feel this way. The important thing to remember about loneliness and every other feeling that we are uncomfortable with is not to resist it, but to embrace it for the teacher that it is. That’s right, uncomfortable feelings are some of our greatest teachers.

We resist loneliness by trying to keep busy, watching TV, shopping, playing on the computer; we turn to food and alcohol or anything that we think will help us avoid feeling what is ours to feel. What are we afraid of, and what is the worst thing that can happen? By experiencing our feelings whether it is loneliness, fear, anger or any other difficult feeling it is an opportunity to get to know ourselves on a deeper level. Furthermore, it is an opportunity to release old energies and outdated patterns of behavior. They come out for a reason and your mind will tell you to avoid it at all cost. The reason is to help you create a richer and more meaningful life, just the opposite of what your mind tells you.

“If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is and an opportunity to get to know YOU… you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU.” – Mandy Hale

Do not think for one minute that your loneliness just came out of thin air? It is rooted in some past experience and has percolated waiting for the right time to reach out and help you. What do you have to lose by being with your loneliness or uncomfortable feelings, nothing except your loneliness or uncomfortable feelings. Therefore, the next time a feeling comes up that your mind wants you to escape from, say wait a minute I am in charge here and I want to be with and feel my feelings. You will be OK and with a little practice, things will begin to shift. Do not take my word for it, try it and see for yourself. Remember if you are resisting in any way you will push the gift away.


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What’s on your mind? I am always open to questions and comments or for a healthy and supportive discussion about these topics.

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