We often become rigid and fixed in our ideas and ways of living. This rigidity cuts us off from one another and from ourselves and does not allow the natural flow of change to occur. Just look at our government these days and you can see rigid ideas at play. The truth is, in most cases, that there is more than one way to do things. We do have choices. These choices become locked up in a box when we become fixed in our ideas. The answer may be right in front of us, but we are too busy defending what we believe to be the right way, the only way. In many cases, one way is not even better than another, it is just that we have a preference. We then defend our preference without even realizing that the other way works just as well, maybe even better.
Which do you prefer: over or under? Yes, I am talking about toilet paper. I realize this does not seem very important, but it is a perfect example. Besides just tell that to someone who wants it a particular way. The truth is you can still use the toilet paper no matter how it hangs.
We need to realize, even with our kids or anyone else, that if they want to do something a certain way and we think it is wrong it is still ok to let them have their way. At the very worst, it will not work and they will learn from that choice. Isn’t this how we all learn some of our most important lessons in life? Yes, we do not want someone to make a mistake or to get emotionally hurt. However, if they do not want our advice, then step back and let them have their way. If it bothers you then recognize that it is your issue, not theirs. Ask yourself why you want them to do it your way. Perhaps you would feel more peaceful if you just let it go. There are many paths to the truth and you and I do not have all the answers.
This is always easier to see when it is two other people stuck rigidly defending opposite sides. They can even be saying the same thing in different ways and still not see that they agree. It is trickier to see this when it happens to us. Yes, we can have this struggle within ourselves and not even know it, let alone see it. For example: that dish of ice cream. Is there a part of you that justifies having it while another part says no? Well we all know who wins that argument.
So which is it: over or under? Maybe the next time you should just let go of your own rigidity, let the other person have their way, and walk away a little more peaceful, a little less attached to your own ideas.
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