We often see the world through the eyes of our conditioned-self, not the True-Self. This conditioning creates our perceptions about other people and the world. Our perceptions then influence our thoughts and our thoughts then shape how we feel. Therefore, most of our pain and suffering is not at the hands of some outside source, but the one that reside within, our conditioning.
One way to release our pain and suffering is through the illumination of our conditioning. Without recognizing our conditioning, we are destined to see the world through the eyes of the False-Self. We will believe what we see so much that we will fight for our misguided beliefs and for some, this can even mean to the death.
For many of us, it will create a life with unneeded pain and suffering. When you find yourself fixated on a position or expressing a superior attitude, stop and look closely at why you hold this belief so tightly. Notice what you are feeling in your body, are you tense or relaxed? Tension is a sign that you are under the control of this conditioning and unable in that moment to see anything different. So you become argumentative, angry or frustrated with the other person or situation.
You may not be able to see or feel this in the moment at first, but sometime after the opportunity will present itself. When this happens, it is up to you to be present with your body and to notice your thoughts, and then take a deep breath and let them go. With practice, you can begin to notice this tension rising up in the moment, allowing you to address it sooner. Then over time, through continued observation, awareness and releasing you can finally let it go forever.
We only have to let go a little for the light of awareness to be brighter in our life once again. This requires a willingness to let go and an unbending intention to release our conditioning. Then the True-Self can once again be our guiding light.