We are meant to be fundamentally changed by challenging times and events; to transcend our old identity.
Pain and suffering will occur to the extent that we resist what is happening. However, when we can see these circumstances with a pair of fresh eyes, a new perspective, we will suffer less, and for some, it will be possible not to suffer at all.
You do not want to end up being the same person that you were before these events happened; otherwise, you will become more anchored into the conditioned-self, leaving you no better off than you were before they occurred. Always remember you are walking in Consciousness or God and not just your body.