Co-Dependency and Letting-Go

Have you ever awakened to your generosity being taken advantage of, and then feel guilty for not helping anymore? This is not unique to you and happens too many of us. It is in our nature to be kind and helpful.

When we become co-dependent with a friend or family member, it is easy for them to expect our generosity every time they call on us. They can even become upset when we do not give them exactly what they want. A sure sign the relationship is co-dependent, and you need to wake up.

The hardest thing to do is to let go, but that will be the most helpful for everyone involved.

When you put everyone else first, you risk your physical and emotional well-being, then what will you have to offer anyone who actually can benefit from your help. Usually, once we let go the other person steps up and takes responsibility for their problems. However, we do not have control over their choices and the path they are on in this life. They must be free to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Otherwise, they will never realize how powerful they are and what they are capable of in this life.

Mistakes

Would life be different for you if you did not think that making a mistake was wrong? Would you then take more risks in your life? What if I told you that you were conditioned to feel this way and that in truth there is nothing wrong with making mistakes. In fact, that is how we learn.

Think about that for a minute, can you make a wrong choice if you are always learning from your so-called mistakes and moving forward with greater awareness in your life? Would you still consider it a mistake or a gift?

What if your conditioning had not taught you to think that anything short of perfection was wrong or incomplete. What if we had been shown never to fear to make mistakes and we saw them as opportunities, a chance to learn, grow and move forward in life with a new awareness.

Can you look back on your life to times when you thought you made a mistake and it led you to a new understanding about yourself or your life? Can you see that this so-called error was actually a guiding light to something better in your life?

Making a mistake is never wrong if we see it as an opportunity and learn from it. That is the beauty of life, we always have the chance to start over, to learn and make all of our mistakes and problems into victories.

Remember the more significant the mistake or problem, the greater the triumph when you overcome it.

Now, you are to remember that, so that when you have a disturbance of any kind raging inside you, you will never follow your conditioning and go into automatic thinking that the storm is stronger than your real nature because it isn’t. You can always be in charge of your thoughts and learn from your mistakes and problems.

Bringing awareness into your life, noticing your conditioning and automatic thinking can only make your life better, so take a risk, and be willing to make mistakes because it will lead you to a better life.

Lasting Peace

We all face difficulties in life, and no one on this planet avoids them. Whether they are emotional or physical, our environment or circumstances, at some point, we will be faced with challenges. This is not something that we should need convincing of because we have already had trouble in our lives, no matter our age.

Yet somehow, we imagine life should not have obstacles or pain. Therefore, we become upset, embittered or frustrated when something happens that we perceive not to be perfect (the way we wanted). Can you see how this reaction is insane?

So why do we go on believing it is possible and not face the truth, be present with what is, and live in the moment? This is because we think that life should not have any difficulties and that is because of societies idea (conditioning) of perfection, not our own. However, this is not reality, is it?

If you can see this in your own life, then over time you can begin to see the other ways that you are conditioned, and yes, you are conditioned in many ways. Unfortunately, we become lost in our own thoughts created by this conditioning, and this makes it impossible to see without bringing awareness into our life.

To begin the journey of self-discovery and bringing awareness into your life is the way to finding and experiencing lasting peace. One that is perfect, not because difficulties never occur in your life, but one where whatever arises never takes your peace away. You finally understand that you are peaceful in your purest form and no person, experience or event can take it away.

Walking in the Shoes of Another

“I had to live in the desert before I could understand the full value of grass in a green ditch.” -Ella Maillart

There is a deeper meaning here other than that of nature and one that we often fail to recognize, and it is never more relevant than now with immigration in the minds of so many.

We cannot know what someone else is going through unless we have experienced it ourselves and even then, it may be different. Yes, we can have a perception, make a judgment or believe we know, but this is not likely to be the reality for that person.

Moreover, until we realize this truth, many will shun the other person out of hate and/or ignorance. Some will be sympathetic, but at a loss about what to do, even feeling overwhelmed by it all. Still, more will project a story about how impossible it is to do, citing many false statements, about the effects on the economy and our resources. These statements are usually based on fear, not fact. Besides, they are often used to create fear in us so a particular group can move their agenda forward.

We must ask some tough question of ourselves and do what we know is the right thing to do, not based on fear, but in truth. Many will not have the courage to this because they are so conditioned by their beliefs that to question those beliefs means they may lose their identity of who they thought they were. Their life will cease to exist as they know it and that is terrifying to them. They will deny this because they are not even aware of it.

However, for those of you that will ask those questions or perhaps already have, we are enough to turn the tide. We need to have faith and take action when called to do so. We must stick to our convictions, do what we know is the right thing to do, and lead from the heart of truth, not from our fear.

It takes courage to dive deep into the unknown of our own being and question where our beliefs came from and whether they still hold true. We may find some that we defended with great gusto that we never even believed in, it was just conditioning from the beginning. However, to discover this, we must bring awareness into our lives. Because without taking this step we are destined to continue to reproduce our mistakes that history continues to show us and we continue to repeat.

As you read this post, notice how your body is feeling. Take a moment to close your eyes and be with the stillness in you. I guarantee you will find more truth here than you ever will by following the endless thoughts of your conditioning. If you find this hard, do not get discouraged; take baby steps to reconnect with the peace, truth, and presence that resides in you.

Manipulation of the Masses

When what we hear is aligned with our conditioning, the truth is obscured from our knowing.

Manipulation of the masses is carried out by telling lies that align with our conditioning and because of this conditioning, we see the lies as truth. Anyone skillful at manipulation knows this and will use our conditioning to get what they want, and with very little resistance from us.

What the manipulator seeks is often disguised to be in our best interest, but in truth, this is the way they gain power, money or control over us and how we become their victims.

The manipulator will exert control over anyone who might interfere with their plans. Using out-and-out lies to discredit anyone who challenges them or who speaks the truth. Even using their lies to get their followers to do the dirty work for them.

Manipulation of the masses is accomplished in subtle, bold or covert ways and with brute force. In the end, the result is the same, one person or a group of people controlling the many for personal benefit.

Finding the Middle

Most things that happen in life are not good or bad; they are good and bad. Where do you put your attention? Do you have enough awareness to see them both? Do you only see the bad, which leaves you anxious, angry or depressed? On the other hand, do you focus only on the good, convincing yourself that nothing is wrong? Seeing life either way will only lead to suffering and the continued loss of our humanity.

Remember life is not about getting, it is about giving. Too many have forgotten this, and have fallen into a trance. Their focus is too narrow, and they can only see the good or the bad. This forgetfulness creates a more significant disparity between those who have and those who don’t, leaving our world in war, hunger, poverty, and turmoil.

We must awaken from our trance, or we will continue to spiral down. Our lost humanity will not just be something we gasp at in the news; it will become so regular that we will grow numb to our inhumanity.  This has already begun to happen in the name of peace and safety. Can you see it?

Will we find a way to wake up or will we continue down our current path? Each one of us must ask this question of ourselves. We must be willing to take an honest look at our beliefs and perceptions so that we can uncover the truth. Otherwise, we will continue to parrot our conditioned views and judgments out into the world, and that will only strengthen what we most dislike about it.

When we can stay in the middle, a balanced life is lived, and happiness becomes the norm. We learn to appreciate the good and have the strength to take action to improve the bad. Can we find the middle or will we continue to fight for what we think is ours and ours alone?

How is it…?

How is it that we always have enough money to go to war, buy weapons, bail out the banks, but we cannot find a way to feed, clothe and house the homeless?

So many politicians, including those who run for President, say they are Christian yet how is this behavior Christian? How does it even make sense to so many people? Are they just ignoring it, not seeing it or too focused on their own life to notice it?

Those of you who do see it, are you speaking out, taking action or have you become numb to this insane behavior.

It seems if we have an endless amount of money to kill and destroy, that we ought to be able to find the money to help the sick, the homeless and those in need. I believe this to be the logical and moral thing to do, the Christian or human thing to do. What do you think?