Healing

I Cannot Heal

/ Tim Custis / 2 Comments

I woke up at 5 am yesterday. Usually, when this happens, I cannot fall asleep again; I will toss and turn until I get up. However, this time I fell back asleep. I know because I had a dream with a message. Although I cannot remember the entire dream, the ending stuck with me even after waking up.

I saw this person and knew I needed to say something to them. I sensed they did not believe they could heal. I walked up to them, rested my hand on their shoulder, and said, how do you know you cannot heal? I could see them thinking and searching for an answer to my question without results.

I then said if you believe you cannot heal, your chances of healing decline. And going through the experience will be much more challenging, and you will suffer more because of this belief.

However, your odds increase if you believe you can heal. While this will not guarantee that you will heal, it puts you on a different path. And your experience on this path will be more manageable, if not all the time, most of it. But do not forget, we are all allowed to feel and experience what we need to feel and experience. No pretenses, only experiencing the truth of your journey in each moment.

Now please remember that a belief is very different from a wish. You can wish to heal and still have a belief that it is not possible. Therefore, you must look at how you think about your experience closely to confirm that it is your belief and not just a wish. Otherwise, there will be resistance to the experience, and you will suffer more.

Remember, you can never successfully resist what is happening in your life. You can undoubtedly postpone or ignore it, but that is only temporary. Life unfolds as it will. Yes, we have choices, but we must recognize that we ultimately do not control life. Whatever happens, is happening. It happens even if we do not like the experience or want to overlook it.

Remember, the random thoughts that appear are not necessarily the truth and must be examined. Ask yourself this essential and helpful question, do I know this thought is one-hundred percent true?

If you get lost in thought again, that is okay. Just bring your attention back to observing your thoughts and ask the question again. Do I know this thought to be one-hundred percent true? Repeatedly doing this will change your experience. Do not let your mind agree with me here, and move on too quickly from this point. The mind pretends to be an authority over you; however, you can and should question it. Know that you do not have to believe everything your thoughts say, that you can observe them and examine them.

So put it into practice and see for yourself what happens. Perhaps what you perceive to be your worst experience in life will someday be seen as a gift. There are several things throughout my life I could say this about; for example, my alcoholism and back injury, to name just two. Perhaps you already have something you can now see in hindsight that was not easy, and it turned out to be one of life’s greatest gifts to you.

Healing

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Healing takes many forms, and we have already consciously experienced this many times in our lives. And I can say with great certainty that everyone has or will heal on every level of life; however, you will not always be conscious of every healing experience. Most of you have already forgotten many more than you will remember. Many will agree that the experiences that leave the deepest impressions seem to be the ones that hurt the most.

There are various ways of healing, for example, the quick fix. We want something that will take away our pain quickly and easily. The perceived miracle, in truth, all healing is a miracle. Life itself is a miracle. Then there is the long-haul, which is that injury or illness that will not or does not seem to want to go away. The long haul has much to teach us if we are willing to listen.

We usually think of the more common types of healing, like physical or emotional, perhaps even mental. However, we could include spiritual healing, which has to do with the spirit or the soul, and holistic healing, which includes the body, mind, and spirit.

Now it can be easy to get confused or distracted on the healing path. What helps pave the way is slowing down, patience, and persistence for the more complex and challenging. Of course, many factors are unique to the one having the experience. Staying in the present moment, awake and aware, helps keep us from getting confused or distracted. However, if this happens, remember that’s okay. Once you wake up to it, move forward without criticizing yourself. It is common to falter in this way or fall into our emotions when dealing with something traumatic. There is power and healing by feeling our emotions fully.

Often, we give up, ignore, or resist what is genuinely happening out of a combination of fear, frustration, and anger. Of course, we can have many different feelings during this time, particularly when faced with a long-haul healing experience. Not viewing the reality of our current situation only leads to suffering and the inability to see a path forward.

Healing does not always happen in the way we want or expect. When this occurs, it does not mean that our healing is any less impactful. In fact, it is precisely what needs to happen, or it would not be happening. Therefore, it is essential to remain open to your experience even when things do not seem to go your way. Why? Because if we pay attention and remain open, we can find opportunities in the problems we face. I know that sometimes it does not feel that way, but I have seen it repeatedly.

It feels this way because you are stuck in resistance. Therefore, look for fear, frustration, or anger. Use your awareness to take an honest inventory of what you are feeling and thinking. What is your state, and where are your thoughts focused? Growth, healing, and change will present themselves in these situations. And grace is always present when we are in the moment with what is.

I have found that significant transformation comes during the most challenging times in our life. Verify this for yourself by looking back at your own life. Can you remember a difficult time, that after weathering the storm, you came out the other side better for it? Did you learn something about yourself, life, or others? Did you heal in some unexpected way?

So, it is those situations that we find uncomfortable or do not like that can offer us something life-changing if we are paying attention. Remaining open to possibility gives us the best chance for achieving our desired outcome. Without an open heart and a willingness to go through the tough stuff, we limit our possibilities, slow the healing process, and suffer more than is needed.

Long-term or long-haul challenges require an unbending intention. Many years ago, I injured my back at the age of 16 and then again more severely in my 20’s. After living in pain for years, a neurologist told me I would never get better. The doctors said I would live in pain for the rest of my life, and I would have to learn how to manage it. It was hard to hear for sure, but I would not be where I am today if I had adopted those words in my life as the truth. They set me on a path to healing and helping others heal because I did not take them as fact. That bad news ended up becoming an opportunity that changed my life for the better. Now 64, I have followed my unbending intention to heal for over 33 years. Because of this commitment, I continue to reap the rewards and have proved the doctors wrong. I cannot even begin to tell how much this journey has positively impacted every area of my life. Therefore, even if I had not become pain-free, it still would be a gift that keeps on giving in my life on every level.

Remember to have patience and take your time. I know when you are in pain, you want to be free from it now. So, we look for a quick fix, and then we move too fast. Or we fall into resistance. We try to ignore what is happening. We need to be honest with ourselves and face the truth of what is going on. We need to slow down. In these states, we stop listening to our intuition and divine guidance. We fail to do the proper research and make good choices. I understand that sometimes there are no other options, but you may miss something you need if you are moving too quickly. Be open to opportunities that may come in unexpected ways. And expect them to come! If you do not look for opportunities, how will you find them?

Remember that whatever is happening is happening, whether you like it or not. As hard as that may be to hear, feel or experience, it is the truth of your life. And when we face the truth of the moment, grace steps in and supports us. Life unfolds in new and different ways. Ways that we could not see before and we can experience joy and peace again in our life. Even when our desires are not fulfilled, we can still be happy and loving.

A Model for Healing

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Once you consent to a non-healing thought, which means to identify with it, you will instantly slow or stop the healing process. You will be unable to create what you desire unless you become aware of these thoughts and let them go.

The letting-go process will happen naturally through awareness of these unhelpful thoughts. If any other action is needed on your part, it will be clearly shown to you, so gently pay attention. Some examples of these thoughts might be, I cannot get better, I will never change, this is not what I want, this is just who I am, or any thought that states what you desire cannot happen.

Can you feel the resistance in the examples above? It is essential to become aware of your resistance—the resistance to the healing that you seek.

I have learned from my healing journey, and that of others in my private practice, that you must never give in to these kinds of thoughts or allow them to control your choices.

Remember, never give up on your intention to heal. Because if you do, it will most likely not happen. In those moments, for example, when feelings of disappointment, frustration, or failure show up, and they might, you must step forward in faith and continue to follow your unbending intention.

Let your pain and suffering propel you forward, instead of holding you back. The thought that pain and suffering are your only problems is a problem; with this belief, you only see them as harmful, bad, and dark, which brings resistance and avoidance. Seeing them only as harmful is a perception created by your conditioning. The wise person will recognize that these experiences can guide you toward healing as well. When you only see them from the narrow view of negativity, they naturally become an overwhelming or unwelcome issue.

If you only look at your situation through a dark and narrow lens, you will never find the path to freedom. Notice I said freedom here and not healing; that is because real healing does not always show up in the same way that the mind has shown you or the way that you desire. However, if you remain open to receiving whatever shows up, it will always lead to greater freedom. That means accepting what is without conditions and continuing to move forward using your intuition as your guide. Use your mind when you need to, but do not let it use you, because its unasked-for help will mislead you. Lead from your heart and not your head.

Do not let the thought that you will not heal or get what you want to be another reason for discouragement. Use your awareness of these kinds of thoughts as motivation to inspire you to forge ahead without hesitation, because true freedom can offer you so much more, not just healing, but in other ways that you never imagined.

The Fear of Feeling

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When the fear of feeling our emotional and physical pain becomes more significant than our intention to heal, we fall into a state of resistance and contraction. When we resist and contract we fail to release the energy of this pain entirely, and part or all of it remains in the body.

The ongoing presence of this energy in our body literally influences our lives on a daily basis through our thoughts, choices, and actions. It can also affect the physical body in a myriad of ways including illness.

It is not until it comes back into our awareness through self-inquiry or another event that brings it up into our conscious awareness that we can release it. At that time it must be felt and released, or it will remain stuck indefinitely and impacting our lives in some way.

 

Free Yourself from Pain and Suffering

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Pain and suffering do not come from letting go; they arise out of fear and our inability to be present in the moment. We are resisting what is, and trying to avoid feeling our pain. By doing this, we mistakenly think we will suffer less or not at all when in truth the opposite becomes our reality. This resistance is automatic and originates out of our conditioning. When we acknowledge and embrace our pain and suffering, and we bring our attention back to the present moment, we have the opportunity to release whatever is causing our discomfort.

We can recognize what this moment looks like because we become sick and tired of being sick and tired. At that very moment, we step back into the present moment with the truth of what we are feeling, and this is when the door to infinite possibilities opens up, and healing becomes possible. We now have a choice to step through the door or close it by falling back into resistance. Do not worry if you close the door, even more than once because the opportunity will always come up again.

Remember that as long as you stay in resistance, you will continue to experience pain and suffering. Your willingness to be present with your painful feelings needs to be greater than your fear of stepping through the door. Through the experience of this process, you can build a strong foundation of trust and faith something greater than yourself or in the realization of how the universe works energetically.

When we are willing to feel our feelings and be present in the moment with them and the truth of what is happening, life presents us the opportunity to let our pain and suffering go and experience joy again. This may occur instantly or over a period as it becomes clear that you must let the energy go. The next time you feel lost in your pain and suffering, know that the door to healing is open and waiting for you to walk through it and to the other side, where joy and peace are waiting for you.

Allow Healing

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A Doorway to Healing

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Suffering is born out of resistance. It is a doorway, bringing peace, balance, and happiness into your life again. You must be willing to open this door and step through it to the other side. If you do not, you will continue to suffer until you are ready to let go. Furthermore, your suffering is never caused by external circumstances, but by your perceptions and the inability to internally process your emotions and experiences completely. The recognition of this allows you to release or begin the letting-go process and for healing to happen.

When Tragedy Strikes in America

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In America when tragedy strikes or when a large enough part of the population sees and understands that something is wrong or something needs to change, we get up and move forward making the change necessary to keep people free, to keep people safe and to do the right thing. There are always those who want things to stay the way they are out of fear, out of misguided thinking or out of ignorance. You only have to look at our history to see this fact; there are many examples like the woman’s right to vote, segregation or slavery. Holdouts never get their way because in the end what is moral, compassionate and right always wins.

Yes, they make it hard for those people who see what will be, who see what is moral, compassionate and right and needs to be done. Remember that these people are lost in the past, they want things to stay the same, they resist change in their lives and this world, and they will fight to keep the things as they are. Remember, that they need our compassion and understanding, not our anger and hate. Why, because they cannot see what the right thing to do is at this moment.

You waste your time trying to change their minds, and it is only an exercise of your ego to be right. The energy that you lose with this futile course of action could be used for creating the change you seek instead of falling into a dark hole of wasted time.

Drop down into your heart and know that if you let go of your anger, frustration, and fear that you help them heal and let go of theirs. Take action like voting, running for office, supporting a candidate or doing whatever you feel called to do that follows your passion. Through this action, you will be helping to heal yourself and everyone on this planet. The change will come because that is inevitable. Remain hopeful, confident, passionate and enthusiastic because these qualities have the power to create what you want. You will never create the future you want out of anger, fear or any emotion that does not make you feel good. When you notice upset in your body or life reach for good feelings, find your passion and let us create a peaceful world where we can coexist with all its diversity and beauty.

I am Exhausted, Debate, Debate, Debate

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Don’t you think it is about time that we stop holding our personal beliefs so tightly that nothing ever is done? Don’t you think it is about time that we get honest with ourselves and do what is right for our kids, future generations, and the world? Don’t you think it is about time we realize that there is no one answer and this issue must be addressed from multiple sides?

Do you think you know what I am talking about? Well, guess again because this is not just about guns. You are you so fixated on your side of any issue that you cannot see what needs to be done. Whether we are talking about guns, mental health, abortion, teen pregnancy, climate change or any other hot topic, we need to stop doing what we are doing now because it is not working.

What will work is a balanced approach that neither side will be thrilled with; however, from this place lives will be helped and saved. We must stop putting the issues and our beliefs first and put the human being that needs our help and love first, not the other way around.

Stop telling other people they are wrong. Telling other people they are wrong only makes them hold to their beliefs even tighter. It does not give them the space to think or to use common sense.

Everyone must first look into their hearts and do what is right even when it goes against their beliefs. We must all take a searching, and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and not someone else’s for them.

We must do what is morally right and compassionate. We must do what is right for the people who are suffering and dying, and we must be willing to let go of our desire to get what we want for the sake of the other person.

Freedom is not found in mere activity, but by taking an honest look at ourselves, our lives and then finding a way to be of service to those around us.

Even if something is written in the bible, spiritual text, constitution or law, we must be willing to revisit it, to contemplate it and make sure that it still makes sense in today’s world. Things change, and we must be willing to change with them, or we will continue to suffer from our stubbornness to keep things the same. Besides, in truth you cannot, just look at history.

When we dare to look within, begin living from our hearts and not our repetitive and fixed thoughts alone, do what is right for the other person, and let go of our self-centered desires, things will begin to get better. Otherwise, we will be stuck in this cycle of debate for years. Besides, things will change anyway, so the choice is, do we want things to change now or should we wait until we are forced to change?

 

 

 

Insights to Releasing Obstacles

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You cannot completely resolve any difficult obstacle in your life without feeling all the emotions associated with that event. They must be fully felt and then released. Otherwise, the leftover energy of the unprocessed emotions will be stored in your body. When this energy is strong enough, it will influence your choices and behaviors in life, and it can even begin to affect your health. Sometimes you can see these influences, but usually, it happens below your level of awareness, unless you are paying attention.

Remember that your thoughts can fool you into thinking that you have worked through everything. However, if you did not, this residual emotional energy will reinsert itself back into your life through your thoughts and actions. This is why paying attention and being aware of your thoughts and actions is so important. Through this attention, it will be revealed to you if you have more emotion or energy to release. Know that you cannot be fooled by your thoughts if you watch them without attachment.