Personal Growth

How to Find What Is Missing in Your Life

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Does something feel missing in your life? Do you feel called toward something different or more meaningful? Are you continually searching for the next thing that will bring you the peace, joy, and happiness that you desire? Do you find yourself doing, doing, and doing until exhaustion, then trying to squeeze in time to enjoy life? Do you hang onto memories of the past and dream of better days to come?

Many experience life like this and ultimately wake up one day wondering where their lives are going or went, and this awakening becomes the motivating force to create something new. The misstep that happens is that we believe we must embark on a long journey to some place new — not realizing that what we are seeking is already here and does not need to be created.

What if your searching, which has offered you incremental change toward your desired outcome, somehow is simultaneously keeping you from your intended destination? Can you see this happening in your life? Does your intended destination always seem so close, yet somehow you never arrive?

The surprising solution is so simple that many think it cannot possibly work, and therefore, it is often overlooked. Is it possible that you are so trapped in personhood that you have lost the ability to see the truth of who you really are? Has your doing, doing, doing kept you from being able to just BE in life, to be present in the moment?

For some, this will sound silly to the mind, and especially so to anyone who has never questioned who they are. All I ask is that you ignore your mind just this once. Ask yourself this question if you are having trouble understanding where I am pointing. Has your mind throughout your life produced thoughts that were always true and helpful? If not, then please keep reading.

The following insight will tell you when you are actually in the moment, which is something you can confirm for yourself. When you can be present, in the here and now, the moment, thoughts are not perceived.

We have all had times like this when we do pay attention to our thoughts, and they seem to be gone. For example, when we are in awe of a sunset, or we experience so much joy that we lose track of time. In these moments, there is nothing to do and nothing wrong. We are one with what is and fully present. We become still inside and full of peace. It is only when we fall back into personhood that thought once again appears.

Of course, afterward, we THINK that living every moment in this way is not possible because we have to make a living or we have to take care of the family, or we have to… Like a dog chasing its tail, we continue looking for something that seems elusive. We keep searching to find that thing that will recreate our experience, not realizing that it is always here. We have forgotten it is our natural state, just to BE.

The truth is that living in the present moment is not about creating anything. It is not about taking a journey or changing anything. We are so attached to our thoughts that we cannot see this, and we THINK that being present is about practice, a ritual or hard work. We fail to recognize that we are more than just the body and this life as a person.

You cannot figure all this out through the mind because it will get in the way of you seeing the truth. It will make you THINK that you already know or you are getting close if you just do one more thing. Finding your way out of this mind-trap is simple; however, letting go of years of conditioning and habitual thinking is not always easy for most of us.

Therefore, if you truly feel a calling to go deeper and have direct experience of this truth, you must be vigilant and bring more awareness into your life. Life does not have to be so serious. Suffering comes from the attachment to thought and the desire for a different outcome than what showed up. You know when this has happened you have become too attached to personhood and lost awareness of your True-Self, your real nature. You will only find stability there because everything associated with personhood is unstable; it comes, goes, lives, and dies.

I am not asking you to believe me or to acquire more knowledge. Test it out for yourself, because it will only be through direct experience that you can build the strength to ignore the misdirection of your thoughts. Use your mind when you need to and stop believing everything it says. Become aware of its rambling, and your life will become full of joy and peace. Return to your real and timeless state.

Short and Sweet #56 – Irritation

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Most of us have experienced irritation for one reason or another in our life. This irritation is a clue about our unconscious programming. Remember, everything that irritates us can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves. When we watch our reactions, responses, feelings, and thoughts about other people and events, we are given an opportunity to make a shift in our field of awareness. This shift allows us to let go of our unconscious programming, which releases the behaviors that no longer serve us.

First, make a decision that this is your intention, then begin to notice each time you become irritated. Sometimes you may not see your irritation until after the fact, and that is OK. The important thing is the recognition of the irritation, not when you notice it. As you continue this practice, you will eventually feel or hear your irritation right when it happens.

Irritation will make itself known to you through your thoughts, a feeling or a sensation in your body. Once you become aware, notice or remember what was said or happened to make you irritated.

Remember this exercise is not about beating yourself up because of your behavior, you are already doing this each time you get irritated. Irritation throws your body into an uncomfortable state, changing your mood, blood pressure, heart rate, and many other physiological changes occur. This is about letting go, just notice, reset your intention to notice your next irritation and move on. Over time, you will let go of the energetic pattern (behavior), and your True Self will rise to the surface leaving you more relaxed and peaceful.

Original post 3-26-2014 edited and reposted 12-10-2018

Humanity’s Most Important Discovery to Make

/ Tim Custis / 3 Comments

Finding our True-Self through inner exploration is more important than any scientific discovery, invention or creation by man. If we do not take this responsibility seriously, we will continue to destroy the planet and ourselves through the choices we make.

Our choices arise from a foundation created by our conditioning and the person we have become, not our True-Self. The True-Self is free from all conditioning. This conditioning gets passed down from generation to generation within our race, gender, family, country or any other group that we belong. If we continue on our current path without any correction in our thinking or actions, the planet will continue to deteriorate, and we will keep fighting wars until we self-destruct, whether these wars are internal ones or with each other.

Bringing awareness to our thoughts and actions, and questioning them will begin to release this conditioning. Know, that our conditioning, like a bad habit or addiction, will not let go without a fight and we must be vigilant in our efforts to expose it and free ourselves. If we do not bring the light of awareness into our lives, then we are destined to be oblivious to this conditioning and held hostage by it.

If you think you are already free from it, I would ask you to question that thought because your conditioning may be deceiving you. Also, when your thoughts say it is too hard or you cannot or do not need to do it know that this too is your conditioning anchoring in and protecting its place in your life. You always have the power and ability to release your conditioning, no matter what your current situation is in this life.

If you are sincere in your wish to release it, then your unbending intention to question your thoughts and actions will begin to shine a light in the corners of your being, exposing what needs to release. You have nothing to fear or lose except that which you no longer need.

There is nothing more important in your life than freeing yourself from this conditioning. When our guidance comes from the True-Self, we lead from the heart, and our efforts will be for the highest good of everyone. Can you see the possibilities once we rise to our full potential and enter the flow of natures organizing intelligence?

I know it is possible to live in a peaceful world where everyone can flourish together without fear. What do you think?

Reconnecting with Your Real Nature

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Many people do not like change because they associate struggle, suffering, and pain with it. The funny thing is we are more willing to resist and fight change, which causes distress. This is because we like to stay in our comfort zone, even when that comfort zone becomes uncomfortable. The truth is change is not required to grow in life or spiritually. What is needed is letting go and more specifically, letting go of the conditioned person and experience that you now find yourself living. Moreover, what really causes struggle, suffering and pain is trying to hold onto something that no longer acts in your highest good.

Letting go is the process of releasing your social conditioning and reconnecting with your True-Self or real nature through awareness. As you begin to release this conditioning and awaken, you will find that your real nature is free from past mistakes. From this place, taking action is always in alignment with your highest good, and you will see your life unfold with more ease and grace.

The Perfect Life

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Does the perfect life exist? Are you still searching for it? Can it be found? If we change our perception of what we are looking for we might just find it.

We find it when we stop looking for it and change our perception of what it really is. Each one of us has the potential to live our own perfect life. I am not talking about the one you think you can find without pain, without feelings that make you uncomfortable; the one that you think will be free from all suffering. Life is not meant to be lived without feeling and some of them will be uncomfortable.

We find our way when we let go of searching for this illusionary perfect life and we stop living in the future, thinking I will be happy when… In addition, we must stop living in the past and be holding onto emotions that are ready to be released. We must stop reliving the stories that do not allow us to move forward in life.

We begin to find our way when we learn to navigate uncomfortable times because we all experience them. We begin to find our way when we learn to be with our uncomfortable feelings and release them without being stuck carrying them around for years. We begin to find our way when we stop beating ourselves up for not achieving this imaginary perfect life. We begin to find our way by bringing our attention back to the present moment and loving ourselves just as we are; the imperfect, perfect human being that we have become. Wake up to who you have become. Now begin to uncover the perfect life you have hidden underneath that persona.

 

Stop, Pay Attention and Let Go

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As long as you hold onto the thought(s) that is holding you back it does not matter what you do to change your behavior, you will always find another way of reverting back to that same behavior. The only way to stop the behavior is to let go of the thought and to do that, you must become aware of it.

How do you become aware of it? By gently by paying attention to your thoughts. This is not always easy because the very thoughts you are paying attention to will distract you from your intention. When this happens, you simply bring yourself back to the moment and start watching your thoughts again.

Finding Lasting Happiness

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We live in a world where many bad things happen daily. Moreover, let us be honest, sometimes life just does not go our way. With so many things happening that we do not like, how can we be happy? First, you must ask yourself a question. Where do I look for my happiness? Honestly ask and answer this question before continuing on.

Many people think that getting the right job, having lots of money or being in the perfect relationship will finally make them happy. Only to find out later that you cannot buy something and find lasting happiness. You will not find it by taking a vacation. It will not suddenly show up because you fall in love or see the perfect sunset. Happiness is not something that needs to be found because it is already a part of you. This is why it cannot come from anything that can be taken away from you and no one can give it to you.

The only person who can take away your happiness is you and the only way to find it again is to begin exploring who you really are. No one can make you want to do this and only those who feel a strong calling will begin this exploration. However, to those that do, I can assure you that you will not regret the many gifts that come from such an exploration.

If you are reading this, you are ready or you have already started. Please explore my blog or ask for help with this exploration and know that you cannot fail or make a wrong turn. Remember in every failure is the seed of success and in every problem is the seed of opportunity.

Creating Opportunity

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When we only see our problems as problems, we suffer. What I have noticed is when I begin looking at a problem as an opportunity my experience changes. The sooner I do this the less I suffer and the quicker I find my way out. To see how true this is, look back at your life and see what your problems have taught you about living life more fully.

If you cannot see this, then you are suffering now. You point to your unhappy situation to prove your feelings. This is the easy way out; it takes very little effort to feel victimized. Your thoughts are concentrated constantly on the negative, to the point where you cannot see anything else. From this place, you will not find your way out. However, there is hope from here if you are willing to make a different choice, right here and now.

To find your way out, you must bring awareness to the very thoughts that are keeping you trapped. Begin to notice how these thoughts only focus on the problem; notice how negative they are and unsupportive. Just the act of bringing awareness to these thoughts will begin to release your suffering.

Remember each time you notice that you have been distracted, bring your attention back to your thoughts. In the beginning, you will fall back into your negative thinking out of habit. Do not be hard on yourself when this happens; just gently bring your attention back to your thoughts. At the same time, begin looking for an opportunity to present itself, if you cannot see one, start by imagining one.

Things to remember:

  • Bring your awareness to your thoughts and just notice
  • Remember to come back to watching your thoughts when distracted
  • Keep your attention on the lookout for opportunities
  • Use your imagination
  • Whatever you do, do not give up
  • Be gentle with yourself when you slip into old habits

Be patient and persistent in your desire to live life more fully and opportunities will begin to show up. Even with a little effort, you can make a big difference in your life and this world.

 

Real Freedom and Hope for a Better Future

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With an attentive nature to our thoughts and beliefs, we will begin to awaken to how others have influenced the direction and choices of our lives. Hope lies in the action we take. We do not feel hope when we let life pass us by; it does not come through resistance, only pain and suffering happen when we make these choices; life becomes dull and there is an inability to live life to its fullest.

How much of your life has been influenced by the conditioning of family, society and the people around you? You will never know unless you start being attentive to your thoughts and beliefs. Your freedom lies in the exploration of your inner world, it will never come by blaming anyone or anything out in the world.

We are like the Rose

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When you look at a rose what do you see, are you looking at the entire rose? Where is your attention, only on the colorful petals? Part of the rose is its thorns, but how often do you look closely at them instead of the petals? Do you take in the whole plant or are you distracted by the colorful petals?

We are often distracted by what we perceive to be the colorful petals of others and do not see the whole person and yes we are like the rose in many ways. We have thorns, periods of flowering and times we are dormant in this life. Where we differ from the rose is that we often try to hide our thorns and do not want anyone to see them. This is because if they do, they may not like us or worse, not love us.

When our life is dormant, we can feel as though things will never blossom again. However, does the rose stop blooming because it has thorns or because winter came and went? Of course not, and our lives will bloom again if we stay true to who we are and do the best we can at each moment. It does not matter how many thorns we have because that is part of who we are in this life. Resisting our thorns, trying to hide them from others and ourselves only creates more pain. Embrace the entire you, because without the thorns you would not be you.