Living Without Fear, Worry or Stress

The following words are not meant to change your mind in any way. They only point to something that you can experience for yourself. This is important because it is only through direct experience that we can begin to awaken.

Please know that what I am sharing has nothing to do with religion, and is available to anyone interested in waking up to the realization of his or her true nature. Finding the way to where I point is not about traveling any distance, but experiencing your real nature, which has been in you all along.

The life we live in personhood is not stable. We are continually dealing with fluctuating emotions, body sensations, and feelings. The person we see in the mirror, our false sense of self, is constructed by the mind and overlays our true self or true nature.  Anyone who looks with an open heart at his or her life can see the instability. On the other hand, our True-Self is unchanging and eternally stable; having direct experience of your True-Self is life changing. If this is something you are drawn to, then keep reading.

Think of it like this: when clouds cover the sky, we no longer see the sun. Does that mean the sun is not shining? Of course not, it never stops shining, but we do lose sight of it and may wonder if it is still burning bright. Once the sense of self is constructed, like the clouds blocking the sun, we lose sight of our real nature, but it is always there and can be seen anytime we let go of this false sense of self.

It is not difficult to experience your real nature; just know that your mind will challenge you. It wants things to stay the way they are, and it will use your thoughts and senses to carry out this effort. Because of this, anything that feels hard, difficult or challenging means your mind has tricked you, and you have become attached to something the mind created to distract you. Let the feeling of effort or struggle be a sign that you need to let go.

Remember these key insights:

  • You will not lose anything of importance in your life as you know it now.
  • Any fear, anxiety, worry or thought that arises comes from the mind and is nothing more than a distraction to keep you from experiencing your true self.
  • If you do not like where you are going, you can stop at any time.
  • Waking up is not about fulfilling any desire that comes through thought. It is a calling from deep within, something you feel, a soul-full call to be home again and to live through the experience of your true nature.

Have you ever asked yourself?

  • Where do my thoughts originate from anyway?
  • Do I painstakingly create each thought with loving care?
  • Are all of my thoughts important, relevant or even true?
  • Am I aware of my rambling and misguided thoughts that happen all day, every day?
  • Have I noticed how many of my thoughts are repeated daily?

Once you begin to hear your thoughts more clearly by bringing awareness to them, you will see how absurd and untruthful they can be. Notice how they can hypnotize you, and steal the present moment away from you. When you wake up out of these stolen moments, without chastising yourself bring your attention back to noticing them once again, and this is how you begin to break the mind’s hypnotic habit.

As long as your identity is tied to personhood, the body, and the idea that you are separate from everyone and everything, experiencing God or your real nature will seem elusive. Remember this life of personhood that we take to be who we are is nothing more than a vehicle for consciousness to experience itself. To believe this is one thing, and to experience it: life changing.

Deconstructing the self, the identity that began developing at birth, will not happen in the same way your mind tells you. As I said before your mind will find ways to challenge and distract you. It will tell you stories. For example, it might say, you are so close to awakening, I bet this next thing will be the one. Then years pass by of you doing that next thing, and yes, maybe your efforts have changed your personhood experience in positive ways, but you still have not arrived at where you are being called. Surely by now you should be enlightened.

Perhaps your seeking even with all the positive changes has been a distraction from you having a direct experience of your pure self. We can spend our whole lives seeking this experience, being distracted by our thoughts and mind from our intention and our true self. We can even have moments of what we believe to be this experience, something powerful, unique or special only to fall back into personhood because we were tricked by our mind once again. Please do not misunderstand, the mind is useful for our lives, but should it be directing your life, or only engaged with when needed?

In truth, what we seek, we are, and it is only when we let go of the controlling and deceiving thoughts that we can rest in the eternal and infinite space, which is our real nature. This is the only place you will ever experience stability in your life because living only in personhood will never be a stable environment.

We do not have to believe everything we think, and we do not have to follow the endless flow of thoughts that the mind generates. However, we can still live in personhood with all of our experiences and not be attached to the roller coaster of emotions, feeling and uncontrollable changes that come with it. We can experience life as it was intended while residing in the spaciousness of our real nature.

Experiencing your real nature is simple. A good starting point is to notice that you can witness your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. In fact, from this place of observation, you can witness all activity without attachment. Once you see this, notice how it feels and what you experience. Does it feel stable and peaceful? Does it have any boundaries? What can you discern?

When you have experienced this awareness, you will see that even this observer can be witnessed. Ask yourself, am I watching from personhood, from this place the mind will be involved. Or am I watching from a state of presence? From this place, you can still notice that something is watching even though you feel peaceful. The mind may also tell you at first this is it. Finally notice when you watch from pure awareness, your real nature, you will see there is no other watcher.

Remember that I said that the mind would challenge you, so it is important not to attach to anything that arises from the mind; stay as the witness and do not be caught in any thought traps. Always come back to being the witness, notice the activity of the mind. This will help you to begin to break the habit of following your thoughts, emotions, and feelings, which can overwhelm you once you attach to them. Be sure to include all things generated in mind however the mind perceives them to be: good, bad or indifferent. One day attachment to thought and this habit of following your thoughts will be broken, and you will no longer be interested in or distracted by the endless flow of misguided thinking.

If you start to worry, become frustrated or feel out of balance in any way, know that you have been pulled back into personhood by the mind. When you experience your real nature it feels effortless; if it is causing strain, it is because you are attached to something that is leading you astray. Perhaps your thoughts are saying something like, this is hard, I cannot do it, I do not deserve it, or yes, this may be meant for some people, but not for me.

A step toward awakening is to realize that your operating system, which is your current way of thinking and beliefs, may not be your best ally going forward in creating the life and world you want, and this becomes clear once you start observing your thoughts and beliefs.

Below is the middle verse from a poem called “A Great Wagon,” from the Persian poet Rumi:

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other”

doesn’t make any sense.

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don’t go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don’t go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill

where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.

Don’t go back to sleep.

Follow where I have pointed, and I will meet you in the field that lies beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, where you can live without fear, worry or stress. May you hear the rumbling and let it go to find your way home. Do not go back to sleep, wake-up, wake-up, wake-up and we shall be in the oneness of pure awareness.

The Fear of Feeling

When the fear of feeling our emotional and physical pain becomes more significant than our intention to heal, we fall into a state of resistance and contraction. When we resist and contract we fail to release the energy of this pain entirely, and part or all of it remains in the body.

The ongoing presence of this energy in our body literally influences our lives on a daily basis through our thoughts, choices, and actions. It can also affect the physical body in a myriad of ways including illness.

It is not until it comes back into our awareness through self-inquiry or another event that brings it up into our conscious awareness that we can release it. At that time it must be felt and released, or it will remain stuck indefinitely and impacting our lives in some way.

 

The Excitement of FEAR

Life can be difficult at times, which can cause emotions to run wild and wreak havoc on our sleep, body, and life. We experience worry, anxiety and endless thoughts that things will not go our way.

We become frozen in fear and are not able to take the steps we need to, to create what we want. Our fear becomes the instigator of manifesting what we worried about in the first place because of our lack of action.

Here are a few acronyms for fear I learned years ago. You may have heard them before:

False Evidence Appearing Real”

Face Everything And Recover”

Future Events Already Ruined”

However, this next one has more power in it. It is important to know that we can change our perceptions. Once we do our experience also changes. Therefore, the acronym for fear I want to share with you today is this:

Feeling Excited And Ready”

Now doesn’t that feel different from the other ones when you read it? Yes, the three I mentioned above can bring new insight to your situation, but they do not necessarily get you moving or encourage taking action. When we feel a sense of adventure taking action is much easier because we want to move forward, our fear shifts or drops away entirely and no longer is an obstacle, it becomes a motivator. Yes, fear can be a motivator.

Back in my alcoholic drinking days, the fear of going to jail became a motivator for me to stop drinking and it got me to take action. If you think about it, at some point in your life fear was a decisive factor in making some kind of positive change in your life, and you just did not notice it at the time.

Therefore, the next time you become overwhelmed with fear and your thoughts run amuck, remember the acronym and say to yourself, I am feeling excited and ready; I am prepared for this new adventure. From this new perspective, you can start taking action instead of being paralyzed in a fearful story of your own making.

Mistakes

Would life be different for you if you did not think that making a mistake was wrong? Would you then take more risks in your life? What if I told you that you were conditioned to feel this way and that in truth there is nothing wrong with making mistakes. In fact, that is how we learn.

Think about that for a minute, can you make a wrong choice if you are always learning from your so-called mistakes and moving forward with greater awareness in your life? Would you still consider it a mistake or a gift?

What if your conditioning had not taught you to think that anything short of perfection was wrong or incomplete. What if we had been shown never to fear to make mistakes and we saw them as opportunities, a chance to learn, grow and move forward in life with a new awareness.

Can you look back on your life to times when you thought you made a mistake and it led you to a new understanding about yourself or your life? Can you see that this so-called error was actually a guiding light to something better in your life?

Making a mistake is never wrong if we see it as an opportunity and learn from it. That is the beauty of life, we always have the chance to start over, to learn and make all of our mistakes and problems into victories.

Remember the more significant the mistake or problem, the greater the triumph when you overcome it.

Now, you are to remember that, so that when you have a disturbance of any kind raging inside you, you will never follow your conditioning and go into automatic thinking that the storm is stronger than your real nature because it isn’t. You can always be in charge of your thoughts and learn from your mistakes and problems.

Bringing awareness into your life, noticing your conditioning and automatic thinking can only make your life better, so take a risk, and be willing to make mistakes because it will lead you to a better life.

Right Action

FEAR

As an individual, a country and a planet that is becoming more connected than separated we must learn from our deepest fears. Otherwise, we will continue to inflict suffering, pain and even death to others, and ourselves instead of compassion, kindness, forgiveness, and love. When will we learn? When will we face our fears instead of acting out from them? When will we have the courage to do the right thing?

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.”

– Jiddu Krishnamurti

 

Mine, Yours, OURS

When our desire for money, security and even safety is driven by fear, are we following the teachings of our religion, especially when it is at the expense of those who are suffering? Would this be the choice of Jesus, Mohammad or Buddha? In addition, if you are not religious, are you doing the moral and right thing when you allow these choices to be made?

What are we so afraid of in this life that we would put our own interest ahead of those who are suffering, perhaps that we too will suffer? Maybe our greatest gift will come in taking this risk and reaching out with our hearts instead of trying to put walls up to protect what we think is ours and ours alone. Remember nothing is ours to begin with and all is meant to be shared. We should no longer be the selfish child on the playground, but the generous and loving adult that we grew up to be.

It is always easier to be frustrated than to be kind.
It is always easier to be angry than to forgive.
It is always easier to hate than to love.

We all have the opportunity to look within and make different choices in this life, today, tomorrow, and always.