Freedom

I am Exhausted, Debate, Debate, Debate

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Don’t you think it is about time that we stop holding our personal beliefs so tightly that nothing ever is done? Don’t you think it is about time that we get honest with ourselves and do what is right for our kids, future generations, and the world? Don’t you think it is about time we realize that there is no one answer and this issue must be addressed from multiple sides?

Do you think you know what I am talking about? Well, guess again because this is not just about guns. You are you so fixated on your side of any issue that you cannot see what needs to be done. Whether we are talking about guns, mental health, abortion, teen pregnancy, climate change or any other hot topic, we need to stop doing what we are doing now because it is not working.

What will work is a balanced approach that neither side will be thrilled with; however, from this place lives will be helped and saved. We must stop putting the issues and our beliefs first and put the human being that needs our help and love first, not the other way around.

Stop telling other people they are wrong. Telling other people they are wrong only makes them hold to their beliefs even tighter. It does not give them the space to think or to use common sense.

Everyone must first look into their hearts and do what is right even when it goes against their beliefs. We must all take a searching, and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and not someone else’s for them.

We must do what is morally right and compassionate. We must do what is right for the people who are suffering and dying, and we must be willing to let go of our desire to get what we want for the sake of the other person.

Freedom is not found in mere activity, but by taking an honest look at ourselves, our lives and then finding a way to be of service to those around us.

Even if something is written in the bible, spiritual text, constitution or law, we must be willing to revisit it, to contemplate it and make sure that it still makes sense in today’s world. Things change, and we must be willing to change with them, or we will continue to suffer from our stubbornness to keep things the same. Besides, in truth you cannot, just look at history.

When we dare to look within, begin living from our hearts and not our repetitive and fixed thoughts alone, do what is right for the other person, and let go of our self-centered desires, things will begin to get better. Otherwise, we will be stuck in this cycle of debate for years. Besides, things will change anyway, so the choice is, do we want things to change now or should we wait until we are forced to change?

 

 

 

The Perfect Life

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Does the perfect life exist? Are you still searching for it? Can it be found? If we change our perception of what we are looking for we might just find it.

We find it when we stop looking for it and change our perception of what it really is. Each one of us has the potential to live our own perfect life. I am not talking about the one you think you can find without pain, without feelings that make you uncomfortable; the one that you think will be free from all suffering. Life is not meant to be lived without feeling and some of them will be uncomfortable.

We find our way when we let go of searching for this illusionary perfect life and we stop living in the future, thinking I will be happy when… In addition, we must stop living in the past and be holding onto emotions that are ready to be released. We must stop reliving the stories that do not allow us to move forward in life.

We begin to find our way when we learn to navigate uncomfortable times because we all experience them. We begin to find our way when we learn to be with our uncomfortable feelings and release them without being stuck carrying them around for years. We begin to find our way when we stop beating ourselves up for not achieving this imaginary perfect life. We begin to find our way by bringing our attention back to the present moment and loving ourselves just as we are; the imperfect, perfect human being that we have become. Wake up to who you have become. Now begin to uncover the perfect life you have hidden underneath that persona.

 

Obstacles (Part 2)

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I wrote in part 1 yesterday how searching for an obstacle-free life will cause you to suffer more. Social conditioning can cause many us to look for perfection in our life. What does that mean anyway, a life without pain or obstacles? As I said in part 1, this is not possible; furthermore, even a blessing can turn into an obstacle.

The following line is from Richard Bach’s book “ONE” which says, “There is no disaster that can’t become a blessing, and no blessing that can’t become a disaster.”

This is very profound and when we recognize that all things have the potential to be good and bad, right and wrong, we begin to see life from a different perspective.

Obstacles are not something that you can avoid, resist or ignore, but something that must be acknowledged and seen. When we bring obstacles out of the darkness and into the light, they can no longer hide in the shadows and cause suffering. Therefore, the next time you are faced with an obstacle, remember you have a choice in how to be with it. Try something different, look for the possibilities hidden inside, and see what happens.

Obstacles (Part 1)

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Once you begin awakening, you will realize that obstacles are part of your journey. Living a peaceful life is not about avoiding obstacles, because the perfect life, your life, will not happen without them. This is simply not possible.

Moreover, if you continue searching for an obstacle-free life you will suffer even more. Once you recognize this, the obstacle can become your greatest gift for transformation. When we see our problems become possibilities, the perfection we seek unfolds before our eyes, because we are no longer resisting what is, but embracing the truth of our life. Within this truth is the power to let go, to heal and to be at peace, even in the midst of an obstacle.

Part 2, which will be posted tomorrow, is about seeing blessings and obstacles from a different perspective.

Real Freedom

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My grandson who is 15 mentioned to me the other day that when he gets older he would have more freedom than he has now. This is an illusion of our thinking mind. I can remember thinking the same thing at his age, however, is that true?

Anyone can feel like he or she has more or less freedom depending on his or her perspective. Unfortunately, we often compare and judge our lives to others to feel a sense of freedom. We have it better than they do, so we are freer. We look at many things like voting, having a lot of money, being able to travel as freedoms and they are, but these types of freedoms can be taken away at any time.

Real freedom does not come from acquiring things, having rights or being a certain age. It comes from within and knowing that you are free. No one can take this kind of freedom away and it means that no matter what is happening to you or around you, you know you are going to be okay.  A person in an actual prison can feel freer than a person who is not in prison. When we have this type of freedom, we feel empowered and capable of handling anything.

What is your definition of freedom? Does real freedom come from external things or from where you live? I am grateful to live in the country that I do, and that I am able to enjoy the many freedoms that others do not have in many places around the world.

While I can enjoy these freedoms and would fight to keep them, I know that with real freedom I can survive and even thrive without them. Real freedom does not come from social conditioning or external circumstances. Anyone anywhere, no matter his or her circumstances can experience this kind of freedom. Now that is real freedom!

In Times of Uncertainty (Part 2)

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In yesterday’s post, part 1, I talked about how we can be upset emotionally and physically by what someone else does. I mentioned taking a different perspective on that person and their actions. Now I will share some steps to take to stay peaceful in times of uncertainty.

In order to get some clarity, we need to stop blaming the other person for how we feel, and then we have the opportunity to look at how our incessant thoughts contribute to our unbalance. Yes, their actions caused us to feel uncomfortable, but the emotional intensity and the effects on the body are unique to each one of us depending on our perceptions, beliefs and past experiences. Noticing that we have unique experiences in similar situations, shows that the person we are blaming does not cause us to continue suffering long after the incident, we do that on our own. Otherwise, everyone would experience his or her feelings in the same way and for the same length of time and we know this is not what happens.

This shows us how important it is to start looking at why we are reacting the way we are. This is done through awareness, attention, and self-inquiry. It gives us the opportunity to shift from a reactive state into having a response that does not throw us out of balance.

Begin to pay attention to your thoughts and question them. Are you aware of any beliefs that come up because of what this person has done? Here are some examples of questions. What is the belief? Does it still hold true? Is your response right for what the other person has done or does it feel out of proportion or out of control? If it is, you will be out of balance and may experience discomfort in your emotional state or body. Are your thoughts supportive of your well-being or are they causing agitation? Thoughts will not cause agitation unless we have attached to them or ruminate on them.

As you continue the process of paying attention and bringing awareness to your thoughts and beliefs, you will start to notice what is not serving you. Over time, you will be able to let them go. Often it only takes the awareness of the thought to let it go and other times you will have to repeat the process until it shifts for you.

This is important to remember, the very thoughts that are not serving you will distract you from your intention. Each time this happens, gently bring yourself back to paying attention. You will find this easier to do with practice and over time, it will be harder for your thoughts to distract you.

There are times when working with your thoughts may feel impossible. In these times, working with the body is a more grounded process. Please refer to Body Scanning part 1 and part 2. These two short posts will give you direction in the body scanning process.

Do the best you can and remember to be kind to yourself, this is not about perfection. No matter where you are in life, you can have more balance and peace, you only have to look for them. They lie behind your thoughts, in the innermost recesses of your own being. Finding them anywhere else will only be temporary.

 

 

In Times of Uncertainty (Part 1)

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It is easy to be upset by someone who is doing things that we do not agree with and many of us could probably name someone like that now. They make us feel out of balance emotionally, physically or both. For instance, emotionally we might worry, feel angry, frustrated or fearful. Physically we might get a headache, feel nauseous, become ill or even experience pain in the body. Each one of us experiences these imbalances in different ways. Have you ever noticed or thought about how you experience an imbalance in your life?

It is important to recognize that when this happens it is not what the other person is doing that causes us to be this way. It is how we are reacting to what that person is doing. Our reaction is formed from our experiences in the past and other factors that influence how we experience and operate in this life.

If we are not aware and awake to these feeling and sensations, we will feel like we do not have control over them. Please remember that being aware and awake to them is very different from just experiencing them or being absorbed in them. We all have the right to feel our feelings. However, being awake and aware of them means that you able to be with them, not overwhelmed or controlled by them. You must come to a higher understanding of what you are experiencing for this to happen.

A different perspective is to know that no matter what someone is doing, that person is doing the best that he or she can do in that moment. That does not mean that what they are doing is okay or right. It just means that they do not know any better. In life, when we know better, we do better.

Look at your own life. Most of us have done something that we regretted or that was wrong. Once we finally realized it, then we made every effort not to do it again. If someone is still doing terrible things it is because he or she cannot see or does not understand what they are doing is wrong. In their minds, it is perfectly OK and they feel they do not have a choice, even though others see it differently.

Part 2 will be posted tomorrow and is about learning how to stop reacting and how to start responding so that you can take proper action when needed and stay more peaceful in times of uncertainty.

 

 

Stop, Pay Attention and Let Go

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As long as you hold onto the thought(s) that is holding you back it does not matter what you do to change your behavior, you will always find another way of reverting back to that same behavior. The only way to stop the behavior is to let go of the thought and to do that, you must become aware of it.

How do you become aware of it? By gently by paying attention to your thoughts. This is not always easy because the very thoughts you are paying attention to will distract you from your intention. When this happens, you simply bring yourself back to the moment and start watching your thoughts again.

Finding Lasting Happiness

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We live in a world where many bad things happen daily. Moreover, let us be honest, sometimes life just does not go our way. With so many things happening that we do not like, how can we be happy? First, you must ask yourself a question. Where do I look for my happiness? Honestly ask and answer this question before continuing on.

Many people think that getting the right job, having lots of money or being in the perfect relationship will finally make them happy. Only to find out later that you cannot buy something and find lasting happiness. You will not find it by taking a vacation. It will not suddenly show up because you fall in love or see the perfect sunset. Happiness is not something that needs to be found because it is already a part of you. This is why it cannot come from anything that can be taken away from you and no one can give it to you.

The only person who can take away your happiness is you and the only way to find it again is to begin exploring who you really are. No one can make you want to do this and only those who feel a strong calling will begin this exploration. However, to those that do, I can assure you that you will not regret the many gifts that come from such an exploration.

If you are reading this, you are ready or you have already started. Please explore my blog or ask for help with this exploration and know that you cannot fail or make a wrong turn. Remember in every failure is the seed of success and in every problem is the seed of opportunity.

Creating Opportunity

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When we only see our problems as problems, we suffer. What I have noticed is when I begin looking at a problem as an opportunity my experience changes. The sooner I do this the less I suffer and the quicker I find my way out. To see how true this is, look back at your life and see what your problems have taught you about living life more fully.

If you cannot see this, then you are suffering now. You point to your unhappy situation to prove your feelings. This is the easy way out; it takes very little effort to feel victimized. Your thoughts are concentrated constantly on the negative, to the point where you cannot see anything else. From this place, you will not find your way out. However, there is hope from here if you are willing to make a different choice, right here and now.

To find your way out, you must bring awareness to the very thoughts that are keeping you trapped. Begin to notice how these thoughts only focus on the problem; notice how negative they are and unsupportive. Just the act of bringing awareness to these thoughts will begin to release your suffering.

Remember each time you notice that you have been distracted, bring your attention back to your thoughts. In the beginning, you will fall back into your negative thinking out of habit. Do not be hard on yourself when this happens; just gently bring your attention back to your thoughts. At the same time, begin looking for an opportunity to present itself, if you cannot see one, start by imagining one.

Things to remember:

  • Bring your awareness to your thoughts and just notice
  • Remember to come back to watching your thoughts when distracted
  • Keep your attention on the lookout for opportunities
  • Use your imagination
  • Whatever you do, do not give up
  • Be gentle with yourself when you slip into old habits

Be patient and persistent in your desire to live life more fully and opportunities will begin to show up. Even with a little effort, you can make a big difference in your life and this world.