Pain

Obstacles (Part 2)

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I wrote in part 1 yesterday how searching for an obstacle-free life will cause you to suffer more. Social conditioning can cause many us to look for perfection in our life. What does that mean anyway, a life without pain or obstacles? As I said in part 1, this is not possible; furthermore, even a blessing can turn into an obstacle.

The following line is from Richard Bach’s book “ONE” which says, “There is no disaster that can’t become a blessing, and no blessing that can’t become a disaster.”

This is very profound and when we recognize that all things have the potential to be good and bad, right and wrong, we begin to see life from a different perspective.

Obstacles are not something that you can avoid, resist or ignore, but something that must be acknowledged and seen. When we bring obstacles out of the darkness and into the light, they can no longer hide in the shadows and cause suffering. Therefore, the next time you are faced with an obstacle, remember you have a choice in how to be with it. Try something different, look for the possibilities hidden inside, and see what happens.

Obstacles (Part 1)

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Once you begin awakening, you will realize that obstacles are part of your journey. Living a peaceful life is not about avoiding obstacles, because the perfect life, your life, will not happen without them. This is simply not possible.

Moreover, if you continue searching for an obstacle-free life you will suffer even more. Once you recognize this, the obstacle can become your greatest gift for transformation. When we see our problems become possibilities, the perfection we seek unfolds before our eyes, because we are no longer resisting what is, but embracing the truth of our life. Within this truth is the power to let go, to heal and to be at peace, even in the midst of an obstacle.

Part 2, which will be posted tomorrow, is about seeing blessings and obstacles from a different perspective.

In Times of Uncertainty (Part 2)

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In yesterday’s post, part 1, I talked about how we can be upset emotionally and physically by what someone else does. I mentioned taking a different perspective on that person and their actions. Now I will share some steps to take to stay peaceful in times of uncertainty.

In order to get some clarity, we need to stop blaming the other person for how we feel, and then we have the opportunity to look at how our incessant thoughts contribute to our unbalance. Yes, their actions caused us to feel uncomfortable, but the emotional intensity and the effects on the body are unique to each one of us depending on our perceptions, beliefs and past experiences. Noticing that we have unique experiences in similar situations, shows that the person we are blaming does not cause us to continue suffering long after the incident, we do that on our own. Otherwise, everyone would experience his or her feelings in the same way and for the same length of time and we know this is not what happens.

This shows us how important it is to start looking at why we are reacting the way we are. This is done through awareness, attention, and self-inquiry. It gives us the opportunity to shift from a reactive state into having a response that does not throw us out of balance.

Begin to pay attention to your thoughts and question them. Are you aware of any beliefs that come up because of what this person has done? Here are some examples of questions. What is the belief? Does it still hold true? Is your response right for what the other person has done or does it feel out of proportion or out of control? If it is, you will be out of balance and may experience discomfort in your emotional state or body. Are your thoughts supportive of your well-being or are they causing agitation? Thoughts will not cause agitation unless we have attached to them or ruminate on them.

As you continue the process of paying attention and bringing awareness to your thoughts and beliefs, you will start to notice what is not serving you. Over time, you will be able to let them go. Often it only takes the awareness of the thought to let it go and other times you will have to repeat the process until it shifts for you.

This is important to remember, the very thoughts that are not serving you will distract you from your intention. Each time this happens, gently bring yourself back to paying attention. You will find this easier to do with practice and over time, it will be harder for your thoughts to distract you.

There are times when working with your thoughts may feel impossible. In these times, working with the body is a more grounded process. Please refer to Body Scanning part 1 and part 2. These two short posts will give you direction in the body scanning process.

Do the best you can and remember to be kind to yourself, this is not about perfection. No matter where you are in life, you can have more balance and peace, you only have to look for them. They lie behind your thoughts, in the innermost recesses of your own being. Finding them anywhere else will only be temporary.

 

 

In Times of Uncertainty (Part 1)

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It is easy to be upset by someone who is doing things that we do not agree with and many of us could probably name someone like that now. They make us feel out of balance emotionally, physically or both. For instance, emotionally we might worry, feel angry, frustrated or fearful. Physically we might get a headache, feel nauseous, become ill or even experience pain in the body. Each one of us experiences these imbalances in different ways. Have you ever noticed or thought about how you experience an imbalance in your life?

It is important to recognize that when this happens it is not what the other person is doing that causes us to be this way. It is how we are reacting to what that person is doing. Our reaction is formed from our experiences in the past and other factors that influence how we experience and operate in this life.

If we are not aware and awake to these feeling and sensations, we will feel like we do not have control over them. Please remember that being aware and awake to them is very different from just experiencing them or being absorbed in them. We all have the right to feel our feelings. However, being awake and aware of them means that you able to be with them, not overwhelmed or controlled by them. You must come to a higher understanding of what you are experiencing for this to happen.

A different perspective is to know that no matter what someone is doing, that person is doing the best that he or she can do in that moment. That does not mean that what they are doing is okay or right. It just means that they do not know any better. In life, when we know better, we do better.

Look at your own life. Most of us have done something that we regretted or that was wrong. Once we finally realized it, then we made every effort not to do it again. If someone is still doing terrible things it is because he or she cannot see or does not understand what they are doing is wrong. In their minds, it is perfectly OK and they feel they do not have a choice, even though others see it differently.

Part 2 will be posted tomorrow and is about learning how to stop reacting and how to start responding so that you can take proper action when needed and stay more peaceful in times of uncertainty.

 

 

We are like the Rose

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When you look at a rose what do you see, are you looking at the entire rose? Where is your attention, only on the colorful petals? Part of the rose is its thorns, but how often do you look closely at them instead of the petals? Do you take in the whole plant or are you distracted by the colorful petals?

We are often distracted by what we perceive to be the colorful petals of others and do not see the whole person and yes we are like the rose in many ways. We have thorns, periods of flowering and times we are dormant in this life. Where we differ from the rose is that we often try to hide our thorns and do not want anyone to see them. This is because if they do, they may not like us or worse, not love us.

When our life is dormant, we can feel as though things will never blossom again. However, does the rose stop blooming because it has thorns or because winter came and went? Of course not, and our lives will bloom again if we stay true to who we are and do the best we can at each moment. It does not matter how many thorns we have because that is part of who we are in this life. Resisting our thorns, trying to hide them from others and ourselves only creates more pain. Embrace the entire you, because without the thorns you would not be you.

Fixed Ideas

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We have fixed ideas about people. We see them through a singular lens and miss the totality of who they really are in this life. Remember the next time you have a particular negative thought about someone to ask yourself, have I had this thought more than once. It may even be about a group of people. For instance, a Muslim, LGBTQ person, a liberal, conservative, or anyone who believes differently than you, if you have, then maybe you have created a fixed idea about that person or group.

When we look at people in this way, it limits the world and our lives. Therefore, before you think a person is this or that way, maybe you should look to see if they are more than what you have allowed yourselves to see. Maybe you should get to know them, before judging them.

Has anyone ever looked at you this way and only seen what they wanted to see? Have you ever had that feeling? It could be a stranger or it might be a parent or friend. Maybe it was because of your job, religion, sexual orientation, your hair, a tattoo. It could be anything that causes someone to think they know who you are and helped them to create this fixed idea of you.

Have you ever assumed you know someone’s beliefs because of his or her political party or religion? Did you take the time to get to know them? Could someone know you just by your political party or religion? Could someone know you for years but not really see you completely? Have you ever felt this way, that you are more than just how people see you?

If you know that you are more than how other people see you, then is it possible that whoever you are looking at with disdain is also more. I can tell you that if you cannot find a way to see the “more” in people then your disdain will keep your life small, fill it with pain, fear and heartache.

There is one thing I can tell you for sure and that is that you are more and they are more. So consider your thoughts when they repeatedly play the same negative message about another person or group. Take the next step and get to know the person or someone from the group. Do not let someone else make up your mind for you, find out for yourself. You may find that you have more in common than your differences.

The Opportunity Pain Presents

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Our greatest opportunity to let go and heal is when we are in pain. I am referring to both physical and emotional pain. This is true because when we are in pain, what we need to let go and heal is accessible. During other times, it is often unavailable or hiding from our conscious awareness.

For example, on a physical level sometimes a client will come in with a particular pain. When describing the pain they say, when I do this it hurts. Of course, I just tell them not to do that anymore, problem solved. OK, so we know that will not actually solve the problem. However, what I have found over the years is that if I find a way to work on them in that position, where they feel the pain, I have greater success than when I work on the area in a neutral position.

The same is true around emotional issues. When our emotions are up, they can be seen clearly. If we pay attention, we have a real opportunity to let them go for good and heal. When our emotions are calm, we think that we have resolved the issue or everything will be OK in time. This is also true with pain in the body. When the pain is gone, we think the problem is gone and that we are fine. However, have you ever had a pain or emotional issues that you thought was resolved reappear?

Most people will answer yes to the previous question. In fact, many clients have thought that they had resolved their emotional issue through some other form of therapy, only to find out that there were remaining parts stored in the body. They thought it was resolved because they were not having the usual agitation. Yet when the remaining part was released from the body, there were noticeable changes in their lives.

Know that your physical and emotional pain will leave behind energy from unresolved issues in the body. This energy can affect your everyday life by influencing your choices, mood and behavior. We are usually not aware of this influence because it is happening beneath our conscious awareness. Our mind will point to something in the moment as the cause to further the deception and make us think it is something new.

However, if you feel the emotion, pain or energy as it arises, you can let it go and heal. There are many ways to bring this energy up like Spiral Release Bodywork, yoga and meditation. This process does not require you to figure the problem out or even understand it. It only requires a willingness to feel your pain and/or emotion, something we are used to resisting and have been conditioned to avoid.

It is time that we begin to recognize that the world is interconnected through energy and whether we mean to or not our current state affects the people around us, even though we might not realize it.

Remember that emotional healing does not just take place in the mind.
We just THINK it does.
Remember that letting go in the body can heal emotional issues.
Remember that letting go of emotional issues can heal the body.
Remember that there is a direct connection between the body and our emotions.
Remember that there is a direct connection between our emotions and the body.
Remember your body stores unresolved experiences energetically.
Remember to allow your pain to serve a positive purpose in your life.

Finally, remember that pain is not a problem it is an opportunity. If you adjust your perception and attitude toward pain, then your life will change dramatically for the better.

The Calling

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I wonder if you will ever be able to see beyond the narrow path you have created for your life, this tunnel of the unawakened. Your Divine-Self is always calling you. Can you hear it? When you see that moment of beauty and you are awestruck, that is when it is the loudest and perhaps depending on your state, the only moment you will hear its call. So instead of continuing to follow your habitual life today, take a moment to look for beauty, the miracle of life itself and in that awestruck moment, hear the call.

Why, because you have lost your way and you may not even know it. If you are not careful, this life will be over before you climb out of your conditioned-self. So take a moment to stop and listen. Take the time to hear the soulful call back to your True-Self and stop the suffering of the world. It is never too late to start and if there is a part of you that says different, this is the conditioned-self and not the Divine-Self talking to you. Which part will you listen to today, because all of your yesterdays got you here and if you keep listening to the conditioned-self, you will wake up one day wishing you had taken the time to stop and listen. Perhaps you already feel this way and I remind you once again, it is never too late to start.

Things to Remember in Loss

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Remember that it is OK to feel your broken heart. This act of love will not erase the memories that you cherish and the freedom that comes with letting go will only bring you closer to your True-Self.

Remember that you are never alone, even in your darkest moments of life. Call on those you trust both present and gone when you feel that no one can help, because they can.

Do not let your sorrow push away the love of family and friends because without love, you will suffer even more.

It is true that you will never forget your loss, but never let your loss become greater than your gratitude for what that person brought into your life, because if you do, it is as if they were never in your life.

When we are young, life seems inexhaustible, but as we grow older, its fleeting nature reveals itself and we can only show our gratitude for this gift by living each moment to the fullest. We must always do our best and learn from our mistakes, because we all do better when we know better.

It is OK to feel and experience your loss, take whatever time you need, but do not get so lost in your grief that you forget to go about living your life. Because this is, what the person you mourn would want for you, to live, to love, to feel, to be.

Short and Sweet #182 – Emotional Triggers – Anger

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Anger sometimes arrives when we are triggered by what someone says. When that happens we are taken out of the present moment and do not hear what is being said clearly, even when that someone is on our side.

When you feel the need to defend or resist what is being said, take a breath and bring yourself back into the moment. Then repeat back what you heard to be sure that you heard correctly before you allow your anger to get out of control.

If you are unable to control your anger then see this as a sign. Focus your efforts to release this issue by making a clear intention that you are ready to let it go. Realize that the underlying issue is the trigger. Know that your friends, family members and even strangers are not always out to hurt you. Expect the best of their intentions first, not the other way around.

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